SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS…
SO YOU THINK SOCIAL MEDIA IS FUN? LETS TAKE A LOOK THEN…
Nowadays I am struggling to handle a WhatsApp or Facebook relationship… Before jumping to the conclusion that I am trying to date or marry someone using social media, continue to the end…
What is this Social Relationships I am referring to?
Let me start by defining Relationship…
When you’re in a relationship, you’re emotionally involved or at least connected in some way (www.vocabulary.com)
Dictionaries:
But what is seen as a relationship… Is it only dating, marriage etc… or does friendship get included in the list of relationships we have to strive for.
We tend to put all effort into making a date or marriage work, especially when it is only the start of the relationship, BUT WHAT ABOUT OTHER RELATIONSHIPS?
Now let us define Social Media…
We, today, are living in a era where this is not new. Facebook, Twitter, Google+, WhatsApp, and this list goes on. Currently there are more than 200 social media sites globally (not open to everyone, but in existance).
Now that we defined these two, I will define my concept “Social Relationships”
What would this concept then mean?
If a relationship means that you are “emotionally involved or at least connected in some way”, then I would define social relationship as:
Us being “emotionally involved or at least connected in some way by means of social media”
In other words:
“an emotional or other connection between people who only use the means of social media”
Why does this bother me?
I am not saying social media is wrong, I AM SAYING THOUGH THAT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS A PLACE.
What if social media is not as “social” as the name implies?
How many of you can have a group of friends over Facebook for a barbecue (or braai in other places in the world, especially South Africa)?
How many of you can have a walk with a good friend using WhatsApp?
Do you understand?
IF NOT, let’s do what all of us miss, especially in relationship…
LET US ASK THE CREATOR OF THESE RELATIONSHIPS:
“How did You intend a relationship to be?”
Wait, Who is the “You” that I am referring to?
I am referring to the only One who has had relationship on His mind from the beginning… GOD…
Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. (Genesis 1:26-27 NASB)
I am seriously in need to look at this:
God said: let US make man in OUR image…
Wait, God speaks about Us and Our? But He has not created man yet, SO WHO IS THIS US AND OUR?
God was always about community… God, the Father; Jesus, the Son, and Holy Spirit.
BUT…
God said we were made in THEIR Image, but how does this make sense???
Firstly a human has three parts as God is made up of three members.
How does these three link up?
Lets start at the easy part:
Our spirit links with The Holy Spirit:
The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. (Romans 8:16 NIV)
This means our spirit can easily communicate with God’s Spirit.
How does Jesus and Father God fit is?
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:14 NIV)
This says the The Word became flesh, and lived among us. This gives me the idea that Jesus is the linked to the body part of a man.
But how does Father link up to the soul?
Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. (John 5:19 NIV)
By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me. (John 5:30 NIV)
If Jesus said He cannot do anything on His own, but only what the Father shows, AND HE only judged the way the Father judges, I believe He said something crucial. The Father is like His soul, and He will only react when Father says He should.
Let’s continue…
I can go into a whole theology about God’s intention for dating and marriage, and I can start speaking about how homosexuality is wrong, but I am not going to do this… I do not believe this is the goal here.
God made Adam and Eve IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN…
Important, they were together IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN, not in different places.
Okay, before confusion arises, I am NOT saying you may NOT connect with people abroad using social media, I am though saying that it is much harder to build or sustain a relationship with people like this. I know many people abroad in ministry and who are close friends, and I can not see them daily, but when the chance arises, I will make a plan to meet them and see them in person.
Back to Adam and Eve… God made them and they had fellowship in the Garden of Eden.
According to Genesis 3, God had walks in the Garden of Eden, WITH Adam and Eve. but also Adam and Eve had time to have fellowship.
What is fellowship?
“1. friendly association, especially with people who share one’s interests. “they valued fun and good fellowship as the cement of the community”
synonyms: companionship, companionability, sociability, comradeship, fraternization, camaraderie, friendship, mutual support, mutual respect, mutual liking;
a. group of people meeting to pursue a shared interest or aim.
2. the status of a fellow of a college or society” – (Lexico Dictionary)
I have given a full definition of 1. but the others just the definition (no example and synonyms).
If I would tell you that I say relationship is the “friendly association, especially with people who share one’s interests.”
Think about it, if Adam and Eve didn’t have fellowship, to get to know one another, would we be here?
I know you think I am nuts making a statement like this… So let me explain, if Adam decided that he does not want to get to know Eve and went on a journey to see the rest of the world, would Adam and Eve have had the same outcome?
Now I do not see anything about WhatsApp and unlimited internet in the Bible, especially not with Adam and Eve… Which makes me wonder, WAS SOCIAL MEDIA EVER CREATED TO IMPROVE RELATIONSHIP, OR WAS IT JUST A TOOL FOR PEOPLE TO STAY IN TOUCH WITH PEOPLE FAR AND WIDE?
I will now look into the things I believe should be in place for a relationship to be in order. I believe I had this only because God taught me about forgiveness a couple of weeks ago. And since then I could see more about relationships than ever before.
The Answer (Not final, but my revelation about Godly relationships):
We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it. – John Lennon
I believe John Lennon is saying a relationship with fellowship and learning about the other person is just like not watering a plant.
You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. – Plato
I believe that Plato is saying that conversation can be guided by a person, and sometimes we will never get to know someone, but the actions of any person does reveal more about the person than just mere words.
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. (1 John 3:18 NIV)
But how does one grow in a relationship?
First, A walk with the Creator of ALL RELATIONSHIP… GOD
But why is this important. God intended all relationship to have three parties:
- God
- You (or in my case: Me)
- My or your Friend (In marriage this would be your wife)
If God believed relationship to be so important to walk with Adam and Eve in the garden, why do we neglect it so, to just use social media for this?
We can still walk with God today… God still speaks… The Bible, Prayer and Seeing God are all still possible…
I hear God (sometimes I do struggle), I experience God…
A few of my friends have face-to-face talk with God daily, I will sometime write about these as well…
But the importance of relationship is fellowship… Connecting with people, nothing less is relationship… Acquaintances I can message, FRIENDS I WANT TO SEE AND GET TO KNOW MUCH BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE.
Lastly, Adam and Eve did not fall in love and get married when they saw one another, they actually had to find one another to know who the other person is, after which most of the rest happened… Friendship is crucial…
How about asking God about how to approach friendship:
Here is what I felt God wanted me to start implementing in my friendships:
- Pray for the friendship
- Pray before a hangout for guidance, and thank God after each hangout
- Learn about one another.
- Share the things that matter (even about what God did)
- If the need arises, Pray for one another.
- Trust God together
- Do stuff together, which excites both (in the case of one of my friends it is walking and music)
- If something offended you about the other persons reactions talk about it and deal with it…(from previous post: Remember Forgiveness Heals)
- Encourage one another.
- Support one another
NOW I ASK:
Do you still feel that social media is a solution for everything in life, ESPECIALLY RELATIONSHIP?
I do not believe God had that in mind.