Now here is what I am up to in this part of my challenge…
“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:29-31 NIV)
Now why did I just add that here? “Love your neighbor as yourself”
So how can I love my neighbor, IF I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO LOVE OTHERS…
I am currently on the the 37th day of this challenge… Now here is what happened in the last few days…
Day 23 – Love always protects…
[Love] always protects. (1 Corinthians 13:7 NIV)
I will do anything in my life to protect those who are dear to me…
Now what is it about… What should we protect? Why?
Now think about the following…
What if you would get attacked, would you just stand and wait to die? Or would you defend yourself?
Same applies in a marriage… Marriage has some enemies, like everything which is good….
“Some are clever and seem attractive, only to undermine your love and appreciation for one another. Others try to lure your heart away from your spouse by feeding you unhealthy fantasies and unrealistic comparisons. It’s a battle you must wage to protect your marriage—when love puts on armor and picks up a sword to defend its own. Your mate and your marriage need your constant protection from things” – The Love Dare
What are some of these?
1) Harmful influences
Now I am sitting with this… What are some habits that take time… Time which you could use to hang out with God, family or even friends…
How much time do you spend watching television? How much time do you spend on the internet? How much time do we just waste on things that are of no importance?
These are things which, if it becomes excessive, we should rather avoid…
Lets put it this way… Say for instance you have a 9-to-5 job, and you get home, turn on the television and eat there… Then you only turn it off before bed… THIS IS SEEN AS HARMFUL… You do not see your kids… Or anyone… OR EVEN GOD…
2) Unhealthy relationships
All people should be loved, yet not every person in your life, should stay in it…
Some people have potential to remain a great friend for life… They build you up and they are there when you need them… They do not undermine your relationship with God, nor your spouse…
Others however have a destructive impact… They can destroy who you are… Your identity…. Your close friend relationships… Your relationship with spouse… Even your relationship with God…. These type of people should rather be ran from and avoided… They cause destruction and hurt… These I have lots of experience with…
3) Shame
“Everyone deals with some level of inferiority and weakness.” – The Love Dare
Now I know this well, I write to the world, and I tell people my story… Now to some extend I can say that this is not easy… Everyone who reads it and knows you, looks at you differently… Some avoid you, others say it doesn’t change a thing, yet it bothers them. Then there is the exception to the rule, those who it really doesn’t bother, whom you actually get closer to…
Now in many relationships, shameful acts will come up… If the shame is not handle correctly, IT WILL DESTROY A PERSON… Now I feel this still daily… And I do not know how to handle feeling ashamed… Mostly, ashamed of the kind of person I am… Ashamed of how I treat people… And ashamed that I am clueless on how to be a good friend…
4) Parasites
What is a parasite?
1. an organism that lives on or in an organism of another species, known as the host, from the body of which it obtains nutriment.2. a person who receives support, advantage, or the like, from another or others without giving any useful or proper return, as one who lives on the hospitality of others. (dictionary.com)“A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage. They’re usually in the form of addictions, like gambling, drugs, or pornography. They promise pleasure but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time, and money. They steal away your loyalty and heart from those you love. Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present. If you love your spouse, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart. If you don’t, it will destroy you.” – The Love Dare
Our role is already set… We should protect those we love, including ourselves…
the shepherds fed themselves and did not feed My flock (Ezekiel 34:8 NASB)
you will be restored; If you remove unrighteousness far from your tent, (Job 22:23 NASB)
Day 24 – Love vs. Lust…
The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever. (1 John 2:17 NASB)
In the beginning Adam and Eve were created, they had a perfect paradise…
Think about it… What was their needs?
Food – There were loads of fruit…
Clothes – They didn’t even know they needed it…
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. (Genesis 3:7 NIV)
Fellowship – They had God and each other…
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18 NIV)
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. (Genesis 3:8 NIV)
Wait if they had everything, why eat the forbidden fruit?
Is it due to needing it? Or lusting for it…
Now before we go on, I believe lust should be properly defined…
“Lust is in opposition to love. It means to set your heart and passions on something forbidden. And for a believer it’s the first step out of fellowship with the Lord and with others. That’s because every object of your lust—whether it’s a young coworker or a film actress, or coveting after a half-million dollar house or a sports car—represents the beginnings of a lie. This person or thing that seems to promise sheer satisfaction is more like a bottomless pit of unmet longings.” – The Love Dare
Why is this a problem?
It replaces that which should be important with a lie of something which is not yours… And then you start going after that which is not important in any case…
On this day was the first time in my life that I actually thought about complementing myself… I asked God to fill me with His Spirit and His Love again… And to bring that which is important back to importance…
Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him (1 John 2:15 NASB)
Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil. (1 Peter 2:16 NASB)
Day 25 – Love forgives…
What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ. (2 Corinthians 2:10 NASB)
My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart (Matthew 18:35 NASB)
What is forgiveness…
There are two ways I can explain…
The first I heard was:
In the old times… If a man murdered someone, the murderer would become bound to his victim…The victim was put on his back and bound in that way… Well the result is this… The murderer has to carry a lot of extra weight… This also has the following as a result: While the corpse is rotting on your back, you start dying a painful death.
The second is from The Love Dare:
“Imagine you find yourself in a prison-like setting. As you look around, you see a number of cells visible from where you’re standing. You see people from your past incarcerated there—people who wounded you as a child. You see people you once called friends but who wronged you at some point in life. You might see one or both of your parents there, perhaps a brother or sister or some other family member. Even your spouse is locked in nearby, trapped with all the others in this jail of your own making. This prison, you see, is a room in your own heart. This dark, drafty, depressing chamber exists inside you every day. But not far away, Jesus is standing there, extending to you a key that will release every inmate. No. You don’t want any part of it. These people have hurt you too badly. They knew what they were doing and yet they did it anyway—even your spouse, the one you should have been able to count on most of all. So you resist and turn away. You’re unwilling to stay here any longer—seeing Jesus, seeing the key in His hand, knowing what He’s asking you to do. It’s just too much. But in trying to escape, you make a startling discovery. There is no way out. You’re trapped inside with all the other captives. Your unforgiveness, anger, and bitterness have made a prisoner of you as well.” – The Love Dare
Why is forgiveness important then?
Is it so that the other person is cleared of all wrong doing? – NO…
Is it to go back to the normal friendship, and just forget what was done? – In some cases YES, in others NO…
Is it to free yourself? – YES…
WAIT? You said that you do not have to forget when you forgive…
Some friendships God will show you in which you have to forgive and forget… Those are the ones you will stay in your life…
Then there are also those who you should forgive… yet they will never be a part of your life again. This is typically the case with those who are actually UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS.
Now forgetting what people did to you is to some extent impossible… We believe that we should forget everything… Sometimes if it was of something small, it can be forgotten… Yet in many cases when a person does something… Something that makes you feel useless and inferior in every way… We tend to not forget any of it… It hurts like crazy… And we struggle to forgive because who we are was effected…
Some in my life would be… I do things to just get something out of the deal… I do things to get attention… Things like that because I am have immature and childish tendencies in some areas… Because these are the things that actually hurt me, because it touches the core of who I am… The core of my being… The reason why I am here today…
This video is a @AskAnima video on forgiveness…
Video: Jon Jorgenson Youtube Channel
True forgiveness is known, when you see someone who wronged you, and instead of hating a person, you feel sorry for the person… You hope that they make it right with God, Who is the only One Who has reason to judge.
Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing. (Luke 23:34 NASB)
Day 26 – Love is responsible…
When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things. (Romans 2:1 HCSB)
Today is about taking personal responsibility, but what does this entitle?
Does this have something to with for instance our choices? – YES
Our choices are made by us, and thus we are going to HAVE to live with the consequences of them.
But how about our sins?
if we confess our sins, [God] is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9 HCSB)
We will have to confess our sins. We have to repent of all unrighteousness… God will forgive us… Now still not an excuse to sin… Not even close… Note that this confession in context is to a brother or sister in Christ, so you can pray together and get the sin into the light….
According to The Love Dare
“We tend to believe that our views are correct, or at least much more correct than our mate’s. And we don’t believe that anybody, given our same set of circumstances, would act much differently than we have. As far as we’re concerned, we’re doing the best we can. And our spouse just ought to be glad we’re as good to them as we are. But love doesn’t pass the blame so easily or justify selfish motives. Love is not nearly as concerned with its own performance as with others’ needs. When love takes responsibility for its actions, it’s not to prove how noble you’ve been but rather to admit how much further you have to go. Love doesn’t make excuses. Love keeps working to make a difference—in you and in your marriage.” – The Love Dare
We and we alone are responsible for our choices… We can’t change them, yet we have to live with them, forever…
Now I have made some stupid decisions…
Once I decided I would love to see my friend, which I now know was foolish…
Another, I decided to rather be alone, and without friends… Yet, I will not survive this… Not as I am now…
I decided to do The Love Dare, Yet I have no idea what the result will be… I now know only one thing…. I am currently finishing the book… Then I have to try and sort out my life even further…
I am willing to learn, yet I fear rejection… And I even think that those who say I am dear to them rejects me… Because I am to hurt to think otherwise.
But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. (Galatians 6:4 ESV)
God bless
This coming weekend I am on a camp, so will post as soon as possible after the camp… And this week I am finishing the book side… There is still a couple of weeks to blog though
You are all amazing