Now here is what I am up to in this part of my challenge…
“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:29-31 NIV)
Now why did I just add that here? “Love your neighbor as yourself”
So how can I love my neighbor, IF I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO LOVE OTHERS…
I am currently on the the 12th day of this challenge… Now here is what happened in the last few days…
Day 3 – Love is NOT selfish…
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.
What does it mean to be selfish? I realized that by just thinking about myself I was hurting some people… Including myself…
Now to love others means I have to love myself… yet not be selfish… how does this work?
How about we put it this way…
How much worth do you put to yourself?
Do you only work for others and in the process hurt yourself?
Do you stick with those people who keep on using you?
I did not see myself as much of worth… I only worked for others, not asking money for services rendered… and I always tried to keep those close who keeps on hurting me…
Now if I really loved myself I would not be hurting myself… but how is one not selfish toward yourself?
Have you bought yourself something nice lately? Spoiled yourself with something? a nice meal, new clothes, etc?
What one invests is, that becomes important…
Day 4 – Love is Thoughtful…
How precious also are Your thoughts to me… How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. (Psalm 139:17–18 NASB)
Love thinks… What does this mean… It strikes me as fairly odd to say the love thinks….
Now if love is thoughtful, what does it think about?
How about Birthdays, Anniversaries, etc? How about something more immediate, something your spouse needs from a shop and such?
How does one act thoughtfully about oneself? Is it even possible?
How about celebrating your birthday with friends? How about celebrating some important days for you in the year? How about actually seeing that you are OK, especially when ill and so on?
Now this is all well but how does one do this? I hate it that many people know my birthday… Very few actually does… I do not really worry about how I am… The only time I would even take off from work is due to me dying… Not even feeling ill…
Thinking of oneself is not seen as being selfish, it is being aware that you also have some needs…
Selfishness is when you only think of yourself… Sometimes you have to focus on who you are, especially to train new skills, which you could use to help others in the future.
Day 5 – Love is NOT rude…
He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. (Proverbs 27:14 NASB)
The question… How do you act when you are angry? When someone angered you?
Do you become harsh and angry, or do you actually keep your cool…
Here are three guiding principles when it comes to practicing etiquette in your marriage:
- Guard the Golden Rule. Treat your spouse the same way you want to be treated (see Luke 6:31).
- No double standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.
- Honor requests. Consider what your husband or wife already asked you to do or not do. If in doubt, then ask.
All this is in regard to marriage, how do you treat yourself in this regard…
Do you degrade yourself when you make a mistake? Do you have extremely high standards for yourself and the rest somewhat low standards?
Now I used to degrade myself for every mistake… And I always had much higher standards… When I made a mistake, I would punish myself for a few weeks if not months, after which I would only realize that it was not my fault…
Day 6 – Love is NOT irritable…
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. (Proverbs 16:32 NASB)
How easily do you get irritated with someone? Be it that they keep on doing the one thing that bothers you so much it is not funny, or that they are just bothering the whole time?
Now how easily do you get irritated with the stuff that you do? Be it that you beat yourself up, or keep speaking negatively about yourself?
These are all valid questions, yet we are often so irritated with how we are treated, that we start treating others negatively in the process… I am not saying this is going to be easy… But forgiving someone actually makes it more bearable to do this… Normally the thing that irritates me most is the thing I find hardest to forgive… And I also mean that this is true in my personal life…
When all I do is bother people, I get irritated with myself… I am sure my best friends think I am a crazy person in the way I am… I do tend to worry about them to much, but this is because I really care… And when I really get worried I tend to message 24/7 to be sure they are fine…
Maybe this is why I am currently backing out of all my closest friends for a while…
I did not know how to love myself in any way… This is about to change….
To love my friends would require that I love myself first… And this is the journey I am on now…
I have to be real here…
In this past week I was on the verge of quitting this… I was irritated by some people I trusted and I became somewhat rude… I am not just saying this… To learn to love yourself takes work, and at some points this will mean that it will hurt… I will say this though… In the end I believe it will be worth it….
Please pray for me to have strength to see this through… I know it will be hard… So I would appreciate prayer…
God bless
Remember: The prerequisite of loving others is loving yourself
Last thing… I am not writing a whole week at a time due to me also having to process it as I go along…